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Day 2: Therapy

2014 September 24
by Jen DiGiacomo
The fear has crept in.
It’s so easy to make courageous pronouncements from the safety of one’s home. It’s another to take a sterile NYC elevator up ten stories to meet a complete stranger and acknowledge things I’ve only ever admitted to myself.
So I nervously sit in the waiting area (in boy mode), waiting for my turn, trying not to check the time on my phone every 30 seconds. Finally I am beckoned into the therapist’s office.Mercifully, she is kind, calm and comforting.

And I babble.

I barely let her get in a word edgewise. Because it is such a relief to unburden myself for the first time. To admit that I am transgendered (“I accept!”).

I am emotional. I am happy. I am unburdened. Probably for the first time in my life.

The time flies by and the session nears its end. My favorite line? “Oh, you’re definitely transgendered.” But she also gently and kindly scolds me for self-medicating my hormone therapy (more on that later), and recommends I get my blood work checked (liver damage being the biggest danger).

I grudgingly agree, but ask for recommendations in NYC instead of home back in Maryland. New York just feels… friendlier. And don’t think I could come clean with my current doctor. At least not yet.

We agree to talk again in a week and I return to the elevator that suddenly doesn’t seem so sterile anymore.

Note: When I began transitioning in 2014, I was known by my nickname DiG, which sufficed until I learned my mom had chosen Jennifer had my birth gone differently. So for historical sake, I leave my posts and podcasts as originally conceived, but know that my name is and apparently always was Jen.
Day 1: New Beginnings
Day 3: Hair Cut
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