Calgary Smith.

Finally.

Think of him visually as Sean Connery when he played Allan Quartermain (left, and lovingly nicked from BBC America) in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (or as Peter Clemenza would say, “Leave the movie, take the image.”).

Now mix in a dash of an elderly Indiana Jones

…and a pinch of old man John Constantine.

Then throw in an eye patch, a really badass one, like Charlton Heston had in True Lies.

And a cigarette.

A cool one hanging out of his mouth from when they used to be wonderful and didn’t cause so much cancer.

But definitely NOT when cartoon cats smoked and drank coffee. THAT would be too much.

Page Four Notes:

  • “Classic heroic reveal” will, sadly, lack true movement in our instance, but if it didn’t, it would look something like this (scary), this (scarier), or even this (scariest).
  • In the cool EYE PATCH department, I would also nominate Angelina Jolie from Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow and Swoosie Kurtz from Pushing Daisies. Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of great characters with eye patches, but for now, we are focusing solely on the eye patch itself. So apologies to Snake, Elle and Nick.
  • By now, you will have witnessed a host of brilliant beard options for Calgary. So let me provide a few tips of what not to do: On. Those. Trays, or rather uno, dos, tres.
  • That said, if you want to see the perfect stubbly beard, one only needs to sneak a glance (or three) at Mads Mikkelsen. Første. Sekund. Tredje (jeg dåne!).
  • THE HOLY BLUNDERBUSS OF ANTIOCH. This is inspired by two things. “Farmer Giles of Ham” by J.R.R. Tolkien, my first encounter with a blunderbuss, and, of course, the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.
  • Oh, and finally… packing peanuts!